Thursday, April 30, 2009

Jon and Kate Plus Cheating

Beware of the checkout isle's this weekend....Jon and Kate will be gracing many a cover due to Jon's tryst on April 18.

Check out the photo shopping on this cover of Season 4 of Jon and Kate plus 8. That is the most we have seen Maddy smile in 4 seasons and without braces. It is a shame that all this extra work had to go into this photo to give the illusion of such a perfect family at the renewal of their parent's wedding vows.

There is going to be a heavy dose of Kate Gosselin's duck's ass hair-do on the cover of the majority of the trash-mags this week.

Hmm.. slow week for Casey Anthony??

Look for the Gosselin's, Jon and Kate, to be on the cover of at least 4 top celebrity magazines this weekend. Well, Kate got what she wished for, "celebrity". My mother always said, "Be careful of what you wish for." Oh, I forgot, Kate doesn't speak to her mother.

According to the gossip mags, Jon has gone off on another bender. Using his $40K+ sports car that he obtained by exploiting his children, Jon the tool, trolls the local (what a doof) bars waiting for women, young women, to admire his ride. Then, he pounces. But what do you expect from a 32 year man who's wife has his balls in her designer handbag.

While Jon is trolling the bars, Kate, --balls in handbag,-- is trolling the country, pimping her new book, "Eight Little Faces", Kate's second book in less than a year.

The 15 (if that) page book, "Eight Little Faces" is #5 on on the New York Times' bestsellers list, albeit is has it's own category, "Hardcover Advice", there it is, at #5. We all know it is the sheeple that have purchased this farce of an advice book. Not saying much..heh.

After a quick glance of the bestsellers list, Kate needs to read a few of the books that are above hers. Especially #1 and #4, and in her spare time, maybe give #8 a whirl.

Exactly how much advice can we learn from Katie Irene in 2.5 minutes? Here's some advice to Kate, did anyone ever tell you not to plaster your children's faces, with their identifying names, on the cover of a book? That's right, you don't speak to you mother, you know best, and you have a bodyguard.

Guess there is not much danger of anyone kidnapping your children while they are at home in the mansion with the "nameless nanny", while you are out country hopping and your husband is out bar hopping. As of late, that is the best place for them to be. I only wish you would grow a brain under that mishap of a hairstyle and stay at home with them.

Rumor has it that there is another book in the works. A cookbook,- intertwining love, advice, family stories, and recipes she prepares for her family. When does she have the time, with all her pimping? I suppose that is the need for a multitude of freezer space. On her days home, instead of spending quality time with the children, she "cooks and freezes" dinner. At least all "nameless nanny" has to do is pop it in the oven.

Sorry, but I think I'll pass on that book, as well. Give me Paula Deen, or my church's cookbook anytime. I had rather prepare a meal from my "Soprano's Entertaining" cookbook than anything Katie Irene has to offer. Besides, I don't have the time to visit my local fresh farm butcher to get the freshest cuts in bulk.

I have to admit, I frequent Whole Foods when I am in the area. However, my local grocer has the best and freshest cuts of meat in town, the sticker on their package says so.

My recipes are tried and true - handed down by grandmother and mother, along with a plethora of advice through the years.

Besides, I wouldn't want any advice from Kate Gosselin even if it was "free".

I'm damn not going to pay for it.

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