Thursday, January 22, 2009

Breaking The "Mother" Stereotypes

"The Eight Deadly Stereotypes of Motherhood"

I do not like labels and I most certainly despise stereotyping. There is a lot to be said about being a mother. Much of that is not found in the list below. However, in doing some research, I came upon this list, found it interesting and started thinking.

Working mothers at times envy stay at home moms, because of the time stay at home moms have with their children. Stay at home moms sometimes envy working moms because working moms have a career, a life. Working moms seem to hold some type of mysterious power over stay at home moms. We feel inadequate, at times, because we think we can't pull off having a career and raising a child.

All the while, some working moms look at stay at home moms as perfect moms with perfect homes and perfect children because that is what we "supposedly" do. If we are at home, we have time to make all that happen, right? Wrong.

I believe it is equally as difficult on both working moms and stay at home moms. We each have our vices. We each have our desires and wants for our children. The only easy answer is in what we do to obtain that.

Please read the following. It is hard to believe it is from only five years ago, but I hope to believe that some of these "stereotypes" have long since dispelled. Maybe, maybe not. None the less, keep in mind, it is not my list.
So please don't send me hate mail.. heh

From 2004:

Mothers & More created a list that included the 8 most common deadly stereotypes of moms - here is their list -

Stay at Home Bon-Bon Moms
Stay-at-home moms don't do anything all day but watch TV and eat bon bons.
Stay-at-home moms are loving and nurturing but their brains are mush.

Career-Crazed Mom
Working moms are selfish careerists who neglect their kids.
Working moms are competent and intelligent but cold and uncaring.

Supermom is the perfect nurturing mom - always attentive to the kids, doesn't miss a school event, bakes the brownies from scratch -- plus the Do-it-All Mom is the perfect professional career woman -- always available for work, stays on the fast track and makes it to CEO - plus she has a perfect marriage, perfect sex life and perfect kids.

24/7 Bliss Mom
Bliss mothers love every minute of it, never feel ambivalent, never have a bad day, never yell at their kids, and are always smiling, relaxed and in control.

Martyr Mom
Martyr mothers always put their family's interests ahead of their own.
Martyr mothers do not have their own needs and interests, and do not seek their own fulfillment.

Glam Mom
These are the mothers who are glamorous; young, attractive, perfectly fit, designer dressed, perfectly coiffed - and so are their children.

Domestic Goddess MomGood mothers love to do housework, are obsessed with cleaning.
Only mothers are capable of housework.
Good mothers have a spotless house and do everything from scratch; home-cooked meals, perfect birthday parties, and crafts.

Soccer Moms
Soccer Moms, or any type of sport mom, dedicates every available minute of her life to her child's sport. Weekends, after school, summers, whenever the sport calls, the child, (and mother) follow. Some mothers (and fathers) have become too obsessed with "winning the game" and have lost focus on "being in the game".

This is the perfect example of why I despise stereotypes.

There is but one definition of "mother". A mother is one who loves her child unconditionally. A mother cares, nurtures, and loves her child and teaches her children to become the best they can be. A mother does not expect great expectations of their child, nor of themselves. A mother knows that quality time is just as important as quantity time.

As for me, I can take a piece of all the "stereotypes" above and conclude my own version of myself.
A "Mother to two beautiful and smart daughters, who dare to dream what they can be."

How do you feel about the stereotypes listed. Do you think you belong in any of the categories or do any of your friends or acquaintances see you in that light?

Would love your feedback.

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